On the Balance of Relationships
A reflection on intimacy, finances, children, and wealth
1. The Subtle Imbalance
Most relationships do not collapse overnight through betrayal or dramatic failure. They weaken through a simple imbalance of priorities. Two people come together to share life, intimacy, and experiences, yet over time the relationship becomes overshadowed by distractions — television, money, or even children.
When the base relationship of husband and wife is not protected, everything else begins to unravel.
2. Intimacy vs. Sedation
Intimacy is not complicated. It rarely requires more than half an hour, sometimes only minutes, yet it provides immense physical, emotional, and spiritual benefit. Despite this, intimacy is often resisted or treated as a burden, while hours of passive entertainment — sometimes two, four, or six each night — are indulged without question.
This contradiction is obvious: health, connection, and vitality are exchanged for sedation. Even those who counsel others on health can find themselves acting contrary to what they teach.
Intimacy is not optional decoration in a relationship. It is one of the central exchanges that sustains trust and connection.
3. Finances: Love or Ledger?
Another area of imbalance is money. A partner may cover $400–$500 each week in food, travel, and necessities, yet still be expected to contribute heavily to shared costs. If every contribution is measured against a ledger, the relationship becomes a business contract, not a marriage.
True partnership is more than figures. It includes years of weekly payments, the unseen work of maintaining a household, servicing vehicles, and providing consistent support. If, after such contributions, a partner is still treated as indebted rather than valued, love has already been replaced by accountancy.
There are also inconsistencies. Sometimes space is granted for one partner to pursue personal services or commitments, with the understanding that certain costs will be covered. Yet later, that allowance is withdrawn, as though conditions are being set to ensure failure. This does not build trust — it lays traps.
4. Children and the Balance of Privileges
The imbalance shows itself again with children. When adults give up their privileges to the young — sleeping with them every night or letting them dictate schedules — the child is not strengthened but spoiled.
As LRH writes in Raising Children (pp. 93–102), granting children seniority over adults robs them of the need to grow up. Why would they wish to act like adults if they already rule as children? The consequence is insecurity for the child and instability for the couple. Adults must remain adults, or no one benefits.
This is not a small issue. Many break-ups stem from such misplaced priorities. Analytically, it is clear that TV, finances, or children should never dominate the second dynamic — husband and wife. Yet reactively, the bank pushes for imbalance so that destruction is victorious.
5. The Cycle of Loneliness
The cycle is common:
A person lives alone and travels, wishing for someone to share life with.
They find a partner, yet soon prioritise money, conditions, or outside demands above the relationship.
Before long, they are back where they began — travelling alone, yearning for companionship.
Unless the dynamic of freely giving, freely sharing, and protecting the relationship is embraced, this cycle repeats endlessly.
6. Wealth: A Question of Purpose
Finally comes the issue of wealth. If one is not willing to share freely with their intimate partner, who will they share it with? Is wealth only to be hoarded, passed down to the next generation with no guarantee it will be used wisely?
And if one returns in another body, what prevents them from being born into a different family line entirely? If so, what value was the hoarded wealth?
If spiritual ability and health are in order, then accumulation for its own sake is meaningless. Wealth should be used to live, to create, and to strengthen the dynamics of life — not as a game where the one who dies with the most “wins.”
7. The Lesson
A relationship cannot thrive where:
Ledger-keeping replaces giving.
Intimacy is withheld while sedation is indulged.
Children are made senior to adults.
Wealth is hoarded instead of shared.
True partnership requires adults who remain adults, who give freely, who share what they have, and who protect the second dynamic as the stable base from which all else flows.
